i havent been myself lately. i dont know why but its just been that way.
Have you ever felt like you were walking around and just not mentally being there?
Have you ever felt like you didn't fit? like there's something that just isn't right about the situation you're in? Have you ever tried to describe how you feel and all you could say was :|?
i have.
tonight especially.
i'm writing from a very unsafe, unstable state. I have a feeling i'm gonna regret this tomorrow. Regret posting my feelings on the internet. Regret feeling this bad at all.
all i learned from tonight is that summer is summer and its not meant to last all year round. Sometimes people say, it feels like summer again, cause they're so happy. well, i havent been happy for awhile.
the thing about this is that i can hear your voice in my head. laughing at me for feeling like this. you've never felt like this. to tell you the truth, i was happy when all your friends were fighting with you. i hoped maybe you'd be a nicer person after that. i guess not. you're a real B***h to me and i cant stand it. i used to think that it was just your brother that bugged me but you treat me like crap and i'm over it. i'm over you as a person. you only think about yourself and personally, i hope you see this. not because you hurt me but because its the truth. I can ALMOST tell when you're gonna make fun of me. i dont care anymore seriously, who are you to talk to me THAT WAY. this is really it. i'm not letting you walk all over me. as of now, we're not friends. too bad i'm related to you. People are allowed to feel, and be excited about stuff and want to have fun cause they planned to. you always have to mess it up if that person is me. screw you.
sorry friends that dont get it. dont ask.
3 comments:
i think i know. :( but i won't ask :) i'll probably be wrong anyway hahaha
I feel sometimes that way...apprehensive about laying out all your feelings for the world to see. I think, "What's the purpose for having an online blog if you don't want others to see it?"
and i think it's good therapy...since i keep on running and have a hard time expressing myself :) It's all good Mart:)
You are in the company of friends in this little web of online blogs.
Know that people who love you are reading, praying, and rooting for you. No questions asked. We're here.
I love you, Martina Bautista. It'll be okay. We're your family too, okay : ) So whatever is screwing with you, just let it out. Whether it be on an online blog, or in a phone conversation with your best friend, Piglet *ahem*
We're sisters : ) At least, I think so : )
thanks guys :) yes tets, i love you guys like you're my sisters :)
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