ask me to dance.

i have never really been the type of person that writes poetry. i dunno, its just not my thing. i'm more of a 'dear diary' kind of person. recently though, i cant seem to think of how to start my diary entries( yes i have a separate diary, hidden from the eyes of the world), so i've been writing poetry. apparently, i write when i'm stressed and this has been a very emotionally stressful month. its not like i dont know why anyway so why am i complaining? haha. i usually just write 'god, today was just so stressful' then elaborate on how useless and stressful my day was but now its like i need something deeper. something that takes more knowledge of who i am to understand. its like, i want someone to read it and only get it if they get the way my mind works. i'm not exactly ready for the world to criticize my work so i'm not planning on posting it yet but maybe when things die down and life isnt so stressful then it wont matter to me whether i post it or not. 

so, i'm gonna post some titles i've written and tell me which one you wanna hear... and maybe i'll post it :P

- Stellar Pressure

- Yeah You

- are you exactly where you're supposed to be? ( i was obsessed with the song from camp rock)

- CopyCat.

- Let Go

- sway

thats it :p i think. 

-- mart

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you wonder why you're still in the dark,

i cant tell you why but i can hand you a flashlight.

OMG!!! ikat, nica, paula and all the twilight lovers out there, 

have you heard the song: miserable at best by mayday parade?

well, it reminded me of Jacob's point of view. :( he must've been that sad when he lost her.

listen to it. i love it! haha. 

just friends.

have you ever felt like there was something in your life that just wasnt right? something that had to be changed because you wake up in the morning with the sickening feeling that something is wrong? i have.

i always thought that when i wanted something, all i had to do was work hard to get it. I never really gave much thought to what i would do once i finally had it. i was so careful not to make the situation a big deal, and now it is and i'm sorry if i cant handle that. i know alot of you are thinking, what the hell is she talking about? and i'm sorry, no explanations here, just me ranting away. i was never really good at multitasking which is probably why my grades suck haha but really, its more of the fact that when something is going on, i like to pay attention to it and give it at least the majority of my attention... i just cant do that anymore. i wish there was something else i could do but i cant seem to think of anything. i was fine with balancing everything in my life then the pressure came. the pressure to be something more, to be perfect or greater than i thought. i think i've hit breaking point but no one really seems to get that. the worst part of it all is it isnt even your fault that i feel this way. i can sit here and pretend that its just us, and no pressure and all those things that would make my life that much simpler but the damage is done and i dont think you want to hear the solution.

so now i've found something wrong with my life, and i see ONE solution and i cant seem to get past it. it works for me and i'm too scared to ask, will it work for you? thats what i wished for. (not that you'll see this anyway.)

-- Mart.

Stop crying your heart out

welcome to the world addie! haha :P 

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here it is... the last month, are you ready?