cardboad love :)

how very Twilight/new moon :)) haha :P
i was surfing today and i found this :) it's super cute :)) i feel like i'm disconnected from the rest of the universe :\ it really sucks being sick on a weekend.

http://www.cardboardlove.com/page/4/

Another Airhead Friday

so, i realize that i have never blogged about things that happen in school. the highlight of my week is always friday.
1. because its the last day before the weekend
2. because its AIRHEAD DAY!

here are some examples: (please note that these things REALLY happened)
1. on election day, Monica was checking her laptop constantly to see who was winning the US elections...
Airhead looks at Monica's screen and sees OBAMA and McCain's names
Air head: whos that?
Monica: who's what??
Airhead: Obama? McCain?
Monica: :| WHAT???
airhead: who are Obama and McCain??
Monica: WHAT?

yeah, so basically, that was the day we established who Obama was... ON THE DAY OF ELECTIONS.

Airhead: oh.... so Obama is Black.. oh! McCain looks old. :| that was he reaction to the pictures we showed her of the candidates.

-------------------------------------------------------------
2. Lunch today was well, lets just say she was on a roll.

we were looking at pictures of Jang in her friend's dorm and it showed jang working on her friend's bed -- in the pictures there was no pillow on the bed.
Ika: is that your dorm jang?
Jang: no, its my friend, Andy's :)
ika: oh okay :)
Airhead: jang, wala kang unan?
jang: *looks at her with disbelief.* WHAT?
Airhead: wala kang unan?
jang: OO C**** WALA AKONG UNAN! :))

------
Jang: Napoleones come from Bacolod.
Airhead: What about Silvanas? can you bring me back silvanas from bacolod?
Me: (finally i say something!! :))) Uh, silvanas are from Manila i think
Monica: yup, just get them from house of silvanas
Airhead: house of silvanas?
Me: they have house of silvanas EVERYWHERE :))
Airhead: they have silvanas there??? :)
Me: OH MY GOD. no, they have cheesecakes. (i shouldve said this but i kept quiet and just stared at her.)

back again.

i havent been blogging cause i feel like the things going on in my life have become a little more private than i expected, so i've been writing in my diary more often. what makes today different you might ask? well, i dont care if the world knows this. i dont care if YOU know this. I think maybe its just right for me to put it out there and pray to god you realize the consequences of your actions and own up.

You, yes you. Not you, HER. what have you done to one of my best friends? 

Remember her? No? well, let me refresh your memory.

shes about, a head shorter than me, fun, peppy, energetic, full of life, and best of all, she's that person you can count on to put her friends first(sorry for the faulty parallelism, but feelings aren't something you really edit.). yeah, remember her yet? no? well, she's the type of person everyone loves to have around, she's that person that catches your eye during one of her performances... what am i talking about? she WAS all those things. 

this particular person i'm talking about, you probably already know who she is, she was the type of person you dont expect to lose in college. she was the type to make sure she saw you at least once a month. she WAS that person that stays with you till the end of... well, everything.

what have you done to her?

you think you can just walk in and out of my life as you please? you cant. its not fair. i mean, you talk about your ex, on your blog, when you're with us, and you complain about how he walks in and out of your life and how you dont know what he wants from you. well, i think you need to get a mirror for your apartment honey because youre doing the exact same thing. 

okay, fine, i get it. you needed space from him, and he WAS hanging out with us. but seriously, that was a SLAP in the face. how could you think that we would choose him over you? not that we were given a choice. you left, and said you needed to take time away from him, okay, we get that, but time away from US too? you couldve told us, hey when we go out tonight, can we not see ----? we wouldve understood, we wouldve done something. but no, you didnt even think to tell us that. 

i'm kinda sick of your false hope texts. all the "i'm coming out with you guys tonight"s and the "i'll be there in a bit"s. whatever. the sad part of all this is, i taught myself to stop hoping, to stop believing you. sure, they all think you'll show, they trust that eventually we'll see you, i'm sorry, i dont. the thing is, i'm not even mad. just astonished really. you've been out HOW MANY TIMES with your block, with your troupe with god knows who, but you cant seem to find the time to be with us. its really okay, i mean, when i see you its fine, but i have no time to react because when i DO see you, you're on your way out. 

remember that party, one of our high school friends had? you were there for like an hour? and said what? 2 words to me? and then you had to leave. i mean, sure there was another party you were going to but i mean, seriously woman, 2 words? 

its been awhile since i've seen you. last time was september 20. remember? that was the last time i hoped. that was it. i'm glad you're having a great time in katipunan, im happy for you, really i am. 

i just hope you realize that i did hope, i did miss seeing you, now i cant.  i cant be your safety net. i dont know you anymore, i dont know if you're the same person i remember. i just dont know anymore. i would like to get to know you, really i would, but i dont think you have time for that either.

just thought you should know.

- mart

Tearing up my Heart.

i miss N*sync. i really do. where did they go?? why cant they have a comeback like those dumb new kids-- i mean new MEN on the block. 

i hate thursday mornings. 

1. i have PE for my first subject.

2. last week you stopped by. i dont miss you. i dont think you see that. i would like to be your friend but you're not making it all that easy. i think you might need to get a clue and just be my friend already... or just lose me as a person forever. how very OC right? haha

oh! i want a my little pony. i went to rockwell, theyre so cute!!! the one that smells like popcorn is kinda gross. what would one do with a pop corn-scented pony?! 

3. i'm on my toes. just in case something bad happens. in case it all falls apart. its always on a thursday. my birthday was on a thursday... bad things happen on thursdays.

Not so superhuman.

i havent been myself lately. i dont know why but its just been that way.
Have you ever felt like you were walking around and just not mentally being there?
Have you ever felt like you didn't fit? like there's something that just isn't right about the situation you're in? Have you ever tried to describe how you feel and all you could say was :|?

i have.
tonight especially.
i'm writing from a very unsafe, unstable state. I have a feeling i'm gonna regret this tomorrow. Regret posting my feelings on the internet. Regret feeling this bad at all.
all i learned from tonight is that summer is summer and its not meant to last all year round. Sometimes people say, it feels like summer again, cause they're so happy. well, i havent been happy for awhile.
the thing about this is that i can hear your voice in my head. laughing at me for feeling like this. you've never felt like this. to tell you the truth, i was happy when all your friends were fighting with you. i hoped maybe you'd be a nicer person after that. i guess not. you're a real B***h to me and i cant stand it. i used to think that it was just your brother that bugged me but you treat me like crap and i'm over it. i'm over you as a person. you only think about yourself and personally, i hope you see this. not because you hurt me but because its the truth. I can ALMOST tell when you're gonna make fun of me. i dont care anymore seriously, who are you to talk to me THAT WAY. this is really it. i'm not letting you walk all over me. as of now, we're not friends. too bad i'm related to you. People are allowed to feel, and be excited about stuff and want to have fun cause they planned to. you always have to mess it up if that person is me. screw you.

sorry friends that dont get it. dont ask.

Called You Up To Tell You 'iloveyou.'

Have you ever felt embarrassed and sorry for yourself at the same time? well, i have. here's my embarrassing story for the day.

i was sitting at my table and then my phone rang. My maid picked it up and said
'Mart, Telephone!'
naturally i said 'okay :)'
went to the kitchen and my maid said
'its Edward... whos edward?'
'is this a joke?' i asked
'huh? joke? answer na!' she replied -- she said this with a kind of ignorance because she said it in ilonggo so i understood that i had confused the poor girl
so i picked up the phone with hopes that this was some sick joke.
'hello?'
'Mart? hello?' Edward said on the other side of the phone. His voice was strangely calm and well, not as velvet-ey as i thought it would be
'yeah, this is mart... wait, who is this?'
'uhm, its Edward.' he said, sounding confused at my question
i replied the only way i knew how... i panicked.'uhm, Edward who???'
this is the embarrassing part. ignore my stupidity and try to relate, i thought i was talking to Edward Cullen afterall.
'uh, can i talk to Marc(to fill you in, my brother in law, that lives with me, is named Marc)?' Edward said
'OHP! sorry, uh, one minute' i was laughing so hard i think i scared him.

turns out, the only reason Mr. Edward had a super smooth almost velvet-ey voice is, hes my brother in law's friend who works at a call center.
i was floored at the thought that someone named Edward was even calling me :| oh well, i guess i can only dream right? next time this Edward calls i wont be fooled into thinking that Mr. Cullen is more than a fictional character calling me to tell me he wants to marry me instead of Bella Swan. HAHA :)) that'll be the day. but just in case, 'yes edward, i will marry you' would be my response. (who knows, maybe he'll contact me through my blog instead, a girl can dream :))

....

i miss bea. :( i miss my best friend. i mean, i get that she had to move to the states cause of school and i'm very proud of her. i just miss her very much.

when we were in gradeschool, we didnt have much in common. sure, we were friends and all but it was never like, yeah, thats my best friend. we did have one major thing in common, JOSH. haha :) as much as i hate to admit it, he was the one thing we really had in common -- not that we knew it at the time.

in Grade 7, Bea and i were a part of the 3 caballeros and it was so much fun :) we were inseparable. We knew everything about each other, and yet again, we - never at the same time -- liked josh ( god, we're so strange) ahah :) but it wasnt like he was the only thing we had in common anymore, it was just proof that we really were similar :) i love my memories of Grade 7 because we were all there together and it was so much fun just being a caballero.

high school is one amazingly fun blur and it went by so fast.

now its like, i miss my best friend. i've never had just one but Bea is like my constant best friend. we fight and fight -- usually about music(at least in first year) or my lack of interest in music -- and still we're so close and we're always just a call away from each other.

i was feeling really bad about something and so i went through the same situation i always go through. i sat up on my bed, got my phone and dialed her house number. it rang and then i realized, great... she isnt here. bea has been gone for a week now and its really only hitting me now, i needed my best friend today and she isnt here anymore :( i know i sound so emo but its true...

guess i just needed to share.
-- mart(crawling back into her box)